The Last Time
by CaskettFreak101
Summary: What happens when everything you thought you knew suddenly falls to pieces? Lost and hurt, do you break, or do you stay strong as to who you are and what you believe in? A/U
1. Chapter 1

A/N: _Hey guys! So this is my first multi-chapter fic, and I'm super nervous about it. Hopefully it pans out, and I don't lose inspiration in between, but I've got loads planned, so I can't wait! Thanks for reading. Looking forward to comments and (constructive) criticism! :D_

_Quick shoutout to Ellis, who beta'd this for me. You're a star, Jelly Bean and I actually like you. ;)  
_

* * *

Kate delicately plays with his large fingers, sliding them between her own slender ones, and exploring them in the comfortable silence of the loft. The fire crackles, as she lays her head down on his chest beside his beating heart, their legs stretched out and intertwined on the sofa in front of them. The rain patters softly outside and she finds that it is moments like these that prove to be a perfect way to end an amazing day like the one she's just had.

Just as she's about to close her eyes, Castle speaks suddenly, in a hushed tone. "Kate, it's November!"

She smiles sleepily, his childlike innocence never failing to amuse her, and replies, eyes rolling, "Sorry to break it to you, but it's been November for a while, babe."

He shakes his head, his body now positively vibrating with energy. "Yeah, but that means it's almost December. And you know what December means, don't you?"

She grins, looks up at him and quickly pecks his jaw. "Christmas?"

He nods excitedly. "Christmas" he replies definitively.

Kate chuckles, snuggling further into his chest, quietly murmuring a thank you for the day she's had, for the day he's given her. She's never enjoyed her birthday, at least not after her mother died, but Castle's infectious joy is difficult not to succumb to, and despite all the glittery streamers and hundreds of balloons strewn across the loft, she has to admit that she's had a fun day. Everyone has always said that he brings out the best in her, that she smiles more when she's around him and sitting here, 4 years later, there's no way she can deny it. He makes her happy, plain and simple, and he really doesn't even have to try.

"Esplanie looked very cosy today, didn't they?" She laughs at the ridiculous name and nods.

"Yeah, I asked Lanie about that. Apparently they're together, but they're not together. I could tell Lanie was anxious to get back to him, so I let it go. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean."

"No, it makes sense to me. You and I were like that for a while, remember?" Kate tilts her head to one side, eyebrows rising questionably as Castle rubs circles in her forearms with his thumb. He grins, cheekily.

"Please, as if you weren't going to shoot me when I kissed Serena Kayes. We weren't together then."

She smacks him on the chest, appearing to be offended. "You kissed her! What did you expect?"

"As a distraction! It wasn't even a real kiss!" Castle gasps, laughing.

"Yeah, but you were supposed to be in love with me!" she retorts, her eyes glittering, mockingly.

He runs his hands through her hair and replies softly, "I am in love with you. Always have been, always will be."

"Sap." she fires back, snorting, but kisses his palm softly because she knows he means it.

"Alexis looked lovely today." she suddenly murmurs against his palm, remembering the young adult elegantly poised in her sky blue dress, "She's grown up so much since I've met her."

Castle groans softly. "Don't remind me, Beckett. She used to be this little baby. All she needed was for me to braid her hair and take her to the park and have lightsaber duels with her and now she's an adult in college, having boyfriends and drinking alcohol and doing unmentionable things and I.. I just miss my little pumpkin. I miss when she needed me."

Her heart breaks a little inside, and she rubs his arm softly as she speaks.

"Oh, Castle. Just because she's all grown up now doesn't mean she doesn't need you. She's always going to be your little girl. I turned 36 today, and I still need my father to hold me and tell me everything's going to be alright sometimes. Alexis isn't going anywhere, babe, I promise."

She turns in his arms and kisses him, once, twice, hard and reassuring. They rest there in silence, save for their heavy breathing and the crackling fire. He kisses her neck tenderly, silently thanking her. He grins against her crook of her neck, nipping softly at the juncture with his teeth and she knows there's something very childish that's about to come from his mouth.

"Speaking of unmentionable things, how about you and I go to bed?"

She laughs, shaking her head at his childish antics. "Really Castle, that's the best you've got? You sure you're a writer, buddy?"

Castle pouts, trying to look offended, his eyes full of laughter giving him away. "I got the girl, didn't I?"

"Yeah, yeah. Go get the wine, instead. I'll be right there."

Castle jumps up right away, nearly pushing her off the sofa in the process. "Red or white?" he asks, as the doorbell rings.

"Red. The special red." she says, saucily as she swings her hips more than she should to answer the door.

Kate opens the door with a smile on her face. Her eyes widen, and she gulps, getting ready to say something to the person standing in front of her, only to find that the words stick in her throat. A soft 'hey' is murmured and Kate's only response is the frantic shaking of her head, quick, soft whimpers and then the swift slamming of the front door.

"Castle?" she calls, shakily. He walks towards her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Kate, what's wrong?" Kate takes a breath and softly whispers.

"You might want to hold up on that wine. I think my mother's here."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**_ Thank you for the follows, faves and reviews! It is such amazing motivation, you guys have no idea, so thank you so much! Massive thanks to my beta, Ellis. #youknowwhat5evaa_

* * *

_Kate opens the door with a smile on her face. Her eyes widen, and she gulps, getting ready to say something to the person standing in front of her, only to find that the words stick in her throat. A soft 'hey' is murmured and Kate's only response is the frantic shaking of her head, quick, soft whimpers and then the swift slamming of the front door._

_"Castle?" she calls, shakily. He walks towards her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. _

_"Kate, what's wrong?" Kate takes a breath and softly whispers. _

_"You might want to hold up on that wine. I think my mother's here."_

Castle's eyes widen. "Your who?"

Kate looks around shiftily, rubbing her temples while sighing. "My, uh, my mother?"

Castle cranes his neck towards her, raising his eyebrows. "Your what?"

Kate sighs. "My mother, okay? MY MOTHER."

Castle glances at the floor, feet awkwardly tapping. "Your mother, Kate? She's uh…well…"

"I know that Castle! I mean, well I thought I did, but then…and then…I just…UGH." Kate grabs his arm and tugs him to the door, yanking the door open. "See!"

The woman opens her mouth, ready to say something, but before she can say anything at all, Castle shrieks loudly and slams the door closed again.

"Oh my God. That's your…but she…I thought…but…Oh my God…"

Kate paces back and forth, hands going wild with gestures. "I told you so. Castle, what am I going to do? I don't even know if I'm ready for this, I mean this, this is crazy right? I'm dreaming right? Maybe we drank too much wine! This is insane. My mother is at the door, Castle. My mother, who is supposed to be dead. I mean, how do we even know it's her? And what if it is her? What is she even doing here? How is she alive? Why didn't she-"

Castle softly grabs her hand, mid-rant. "Shh. I don't know babe, I really don't. But, there's one person that has the answers to all your questions and there's only one way to find out."

"Castle, I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. This is insane, this can't even be real. How is she outside our door right now, Castle?"

Castle rubs circles on the back of her hand. "Look, I'm not sure how, but I'm pretty sure I know why, and that's to talk to you. So I think you should let her do that, hear what she has to say. That's the only way you're going to figure anything out."

Kate nods, with tears in her eyes. "Okay. But promise you'll stay with me? I…I need you right now."

Castle nods, eyes softening. "Of course. Nowhere else I'd rather be." Castle kisses her hand softly. "It'll be okay, I promise."

Kate gives him a grateful, watery smile and slowly shuffles to the sofa, the playful atmosphere from not even 5 minutes ago, completely dissipated.

Castle takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself and opens the door. For the first time, Castle is allowed to get a proper look at the woman that's supposedly his (hopefully) future mother-in-law. She's everything he ever imagined her to be – stunning, charismatic and inspiring- all from a first glance. She is Kate's mother, through and through, a fact that has become clearer with every passing moment. Her ironed clothes are classy, slightly outdated in terms of 'la mode', as Martha would say, but far from shabby.

To the unobservant eye, Johanna Beckett didn't live a difficult life in the time she was away. But Castle is a writer, and the tinier details do not escape him. Her once vibrant, round face from the photographs is now hollowing at the cheekbones, evident in her weary wrinkles and tired, dark bags under her eyes. Her chain, carrying a clasped locket heart, hasn't been polished in years but from its look, Castle can tell the older woman rarely took it off.

Realising that the silence has been awkward enough and that he has spent the last few minutes critically observing the woman in front of him, Castle clears his throat. "Mrs. Beckett, I'm Rick Castle. Welcome to my home. Please, come in."

With a wave of his hand, Castle gestures her inside. She walks in exactly the way Kate does- not hesitantly but not arrogantly either. "Is there anything warm I can get you, Mrs. Beckett? It must be freezing outside." Castle says, as he gathers her coat and hangs it on the rack.

"No, that's quite alright, Mr. Castle. Please, call me Johanna or Jo." she says, softly, yet surely.

"Only if you call me Rick, Jo." He replies, smiling, his suave, charming façade quickly slipping back into place. She nods and waits for Castle to lead the way, quickly following his large strides across the wooden floor.

"Mrs. Beckett…Jo… You have to understand, this is difficult for Kate. She may not take this conversation very well. She's been through a lot while you were…gone."

Jo nods again, understanding. "Yes, of course."

They cross the threshold of the loft, feet padding along the carpet to the sofa, where Kate has managed to curl herself up in a corner, watching their every move.

Castle requests Jo to take a seat and settles himself next to Kate, silently watching the exchange between the two women.

Suddenly Kate speaks, cutting the silence of the loft. "When I was 6, I was rushed into the emergency room. Why?"

The older woman raises her eyebrows and replies immediately. "You shoved a Lego up your nose because your cousins had come over and you thought it would be funny." She chuckles, softly "You didn't think it was so funny when it refused to come out."

Kate smiles wistfully, allowing herself the moment and then shakes her head, features hardening. "I have 3 birthmarks. Where are they?"

"Your right forearm, your left cheek and your uh…" Johanna spares a glance at Castle, who is awkwardly looking down into his lap, face red. "I think it's fair enough to say we all know where the third one is."

"Okay" Kate says, eyeing her blankly after a moment of silence. "She's the real deal. Those aren't things fakes would know."

Johanna's face blanches. "You thought I was a fake?"

"Well, clearly everything is not what it seems, nowadays is it?" Kate retorts, rolling her eyes.

Johanna nods, meekly. "Fair enough."

The stiff silence is almost suffocating. The tension between mother and daughter rises as Castle briefly observes both teary eyed woman, watching as their resolves crack beneath the surface.

Johanna clears her throat, breaking the loft's silence. "So, uh, how've you been?"

Kate raises her eyebrows in disbelief and Castle knows the fireworks are coming – and not the 4th of July kind. "How've I been? Great! Thinking my mother's been dead for the last 17 years has been absolutely dandy, thank you. But you know, now that you're back and ready to save the day, clearly everything is going to be all hunky dory in my life."

Johanna shakes her head, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. "I know that everything was difficult, but trust me when I say that it wasn't my choice- it wasn't anyone's choice. But I did it for your safety and for your father's safety, and if I had to do it, I'd do it again."

Kate springs up from the sofa, eyes blazing. "Our safety? That's what you're gonna go with? Dad drank himself into a stupor for YEARS because of you. There was a point where he didn't know his own name because he was so damn wasted, mourning his dead wife, and you're gonna tell me you did this to us for his safety? I got shot! I got a bullet to the chest because I was too close to your case, too invested in it to even do my goddamn job. I was almost killed! For this, for you! We were a mess. We were dying and we needed someone to save us and you were nowhere to be found. So don't tell me that you did this for our safety, because it sure as hell was a lot more selfish than that." Kate stalks out of the room, angrily.

"Katie wait!" Johanna calls out, after her.

Kate pauses, back facing the sofa.

"I missed you so much Katie, you have no idea. I've missed out on so much, and there is nothing that I can do to make it better, I know that. And hopefully with time, you'll forgive me for it. But, Katie, I can be here now, and from now onwards and if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to do exactly that."

Kate turns around slowly, her eyes full of tears.

"Yeah? And what's to stop you from leaving again? When you died, or rather, left, I built a wall around my heart, a wall that is slowly starting to crumble, brick by brick." She allows herself a quick glance at Castle, as he nods briefly in understanding. "Who's to say that you won't go and leave again? Clearly it wasn't as difficult as it should have been." Kate says as her voice cracks on the last few words, tears streaming down her cheek as she walks away.


End file.
